Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He shit in the fireplace
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
