i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
