she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
