Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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