I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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