He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Naked Twister starts at high noon
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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