Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
