Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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