bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
