there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize