high people should be assigned attendants
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I have so many feelings about this burrito
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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