Do you still have your period?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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