Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I can't put those talents on a resume
don't judge my taste in strippers
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
