Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
