I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
