I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
