I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
