Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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