One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
