it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
