turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i out mim tonsoeep
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