..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
