Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
