I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Randomize
