THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
