She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
