So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
