For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
jump out the window naked night went bad
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