My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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