you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My dick has a subreddit
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
