Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
