I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
