Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
