Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
