margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
