Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
