were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
