And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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