these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
