drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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