My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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