I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
