hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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