I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
handjob tips. give me some.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
