He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
