He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
