Welp...herpes.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
