You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
