yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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