just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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