I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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