I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Randomize
