How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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